Winter is Here

So, in case you haven't been obsessively checking the Moscow weather (which, why wouldn't you, because that's a totally normal thing to do), you might not know that it's been really cold here. Like, Houston in November cold. I know it's nothing compared to an actual Russian winter, but I am completely underprepared for this kind of almost-cold weather. I mean, I only brought one pair of pants with me.

Besides my wardrobe woes, this cold weather also means that some days, like Saturday, will be cold (48 F) and rainy and absolutely miserable. Some days, you will not want to go outside.

That was me this weekend. Kind of.

Friday was actually super awesome, because we went to a Cold War museum inside a nuclear bunker. The Russian military basically built a mini-city (including life support systems) 20 stories beneath Moscow. (Oh, and we got to climb those 20 stories - up and down.)

The only part of this place visible from the outside is this green gate:

The museum itself is pretty interesting. There's lots of fun stuff, like a simulated attack on America (complete with shots of terrified schoolchildren) and a simulated attack on Moscow (complete with lights going out and sirens).

After the museum, we headed over to Patriarch's Pond (an important setting in The Master and Margarita, which is the book that inspired the fun sign you see below). We ate at a cute little Master and Margarita-themed cafe, as well.

fun M&M-inspired signage at Patriarch's Pond. basically, don't talk to strangers.

Saturday, as I mentioned, was positively awful for anyone who decided to go outside. I, being a discerning and intelligent sort of person, did not go outside for that very reason. Unless you want a screenshot of one of the many episodes of The Office I watched, we'll forego photos from Saturday.

Finally, today, I made my second trip out to Izmailovsky, which is a market/weird Disneyland-ish replica of the Kremlin/children's birthday party venue? I actually bought some Russian souvenirs (yay, get excited) and made it up to the flea market section (which was totally amazing).

the Izmailovsky Kremlin, as it's called

This week, I'm hoping to go full expat by watching the US play Tuesday night (at midnight...) and maaaybe finding some sort of July 4th celebration. Or maybe I'll just eat Mexican food. Same thing.

Not-Boring Garden

Friday was basically the highlight of my whole entire life, because we went to the chocolate factory! Babaevsky, to be precise. Fun fact, the factory/company was named by the state after a revolutionary in the Soviet era.

Unfortunately, pictures were not allowed inside the factory, so all I have to offer you is this photo of my really stylish shoe covers.

The factory floor was basically exactly like the factory in the Willy Wonka film (the Gene Wilder one where everyone is on drugs). Except with humans instead of Oompa-Loompas and a surprising lack of chocolate river.

But actually, our guide would just pick up trays of chocolates (in their various stages of completion - so just the filling, or freshly glazed, etc.) and let us take however much we wanted. Soooo...I may have eaten a meal that was 100% chocolate. (Also, our guide told us that the workers are totally allowed to eat chocolate during work. So forget science writing, I've got a new dream job. I knew Russian would come in handy.)

Saturday I went to Нескучный Сад, or Not-boring Garden. I was thrown off by the "garden" in the name, so I went for a sundress, expecting a civilized outing to a pristine park. Nope, instead I spent my time picking my way through this in my sandals:

I did get to do some dramatic poses, though, so it all worked out.

And there were a few gardeny areas, like the rotunda celebrating the founding of Moscow.

In fact, I was having quite a nice time until I made the extremely stupid mistake of standing on a low part of the river bank as a huge tour boat passed by. Yeah, I was just lucky to be wearing a skirt instead of pants, so my clothes had that much less drying to do.

ooh artsy

Sunday was a very cultured day. I visited Gorky's house in Moscow, which was super cool, but I didn't want to pay the fee for photography, so enjoy these photos instead.

After eating more delicious Georgian food (complete with the best sherbert ever), I went to Part II of the Tretyakov Gallery. It's basically the chronological continuation of the other Tretyakov Gallery (which I have yet to visit). The one I visited has Russian art from 20th-century on. Even though I'm not really well-educated enough to appreciate modern art (being diplomatic here), I thought the official state art produced during the Soivet era was pretty interesting.

I also went to my first movie in Moscow this week - to "practice my Russian" ostensibly, but actually it was an English movie (The Grand Budapest Hotel - it was awesome and I recommend it to everyone). I was "reading the subtitles" to practice, but yeah...no.

In terms of actually learning Russian, I've found that I now understand pretty much everything that is said to me in a normal interaction (restaurant, grocery store) and upwards of 70% of what is said to me in class. I think I've reached the level of competency such that I can take the Trans-Siberian Railroad and not starve or die, so everything after this is kind of icing on the cake.

Also, getting super pumped for our trip to St. Petersburg in a month. We're taking the overnight train. Overnight train. Is that not the coolest thing.

Many Kremlins Ago...

This week we had The Big Event...our tour of the Kremlin.

Well, the Moscow Kremlin. The one that currently exists. Because "kremlin" really just means fortress (so every town has one) and also the Moscow Kremlin has been iterated several times over. The first few were made of wood (and were also white) so they were destroyed a bunch of times in a variety of exciting ways. When the Russians finally gave up and asked the Italians to build them a brick Kremlin, the Russians didn't like the color (red), so they painted it white for like...a long time. (For a more "accurate" and "factual" version of this history, please see Wikipedia.)

A quick rundown of the Kremlin's contents:

• 4 churches (or possibly more, counting is hard)
• a bunch of offices, including Putin's
• a museum
• lots and lots of whistle-blowing police officers
• some gardens
• two helipads (because how else would you commute to the office)

Church #1

Churches #2 & 3

Church #2 again

Church #4

Church #2

Church #2 all close-up like

whoa I exist

And there miiiight be a 5th undocumented church that I'm forgetting... Basically, the Russian royals had a church for every occasion (literally - each church was used for something different, like burials, coronations, actual services, etc.).

After we played I-spy with golden domes, we went to the Armory, which is a museum of Russian historical artifacts and almost completely lacks weapons. No pictures allowed. But I have never seen so many carriages. 

Later that evening I went up to Sparrow Hills (home of Moscow State University) for a nice view of the city.

Then today I went to this rad market thing and had the most delicious shashlik (basically kebab (basically barbeque)). And pickled tomatoes. Let me tell you about pickled tomatoes. They are great. And I have never had one before. But wow. 

probs my favorite meal so far

Some other highlights of the week:

• Khinkalnaya. Um. Great Georgian food. And they have this cheese bread thing that kind of looks like a quesadilla and is probably the most delicious thing I have ever eaten. 
• Russia Day! Yeah. Did not get to celebrate this so much since we still had class...
• Anti-cafes are pretty cool. You pay by the hour and the tea/coffee/snacks are unlimited self-serve. I made my first americano and it was pretty awful. Newfound respect for the people who work at Coffeehouse.

This was pretty much the Week of Good Food, so I'm counting that as a win.

All the Touristy Things

A few lessons from a week in Moscow:

1. Don't smile at strangers. They think it's weird. Even in your own dorm.
2. People can always tell you're not Russian once you open your mouth. The more "helpful" establishments will then reply to you in English.
3. Nothing is free (except for the WiFi). 
4. It's not unusual to see vodka or beer cheaper than water on the menu. (Tap water is not a thing you want to drink.)
5. You can sit in a cafe all day on one cup of coffee and nobody will say anything to you.
6. The bread from the grocery store is more delicious. However, it completely lacks preservatives (probably why it is more delicious) and will go moldy in 2 days. 

I've found that I know enough Russian to get through basic tasks (buying food from the grocery store, ordering in a restaurant) without making a fool of myself, but more complex interactions elude me. "I don't understand" is becoming a key phrase. Usually people can repeat the key words from a sentence and I'll get the meaning. 

SO. Onto the fun stuff.

Wednesday afternoon, a few of us decided to head down to Red Square (Красная плошадь) after we finished our homework.

St. Basil's Cathedral / Собор Василия Блаженного

Kremlin on the left, St. Basil's on the right

Friday we went on a very extensive walking tour of the city center.

Bolshoi Theater / Большой Театр

Church just inside Red Square

The two arches to this church are actually the entrance to Red Square.

GUM / ГУМ (giant fancy shopping mall - think the Galleria, but with the architecture of a Victorian train station)

Red Square

St. Basil's

Looking down the river towards the Cathedral of Christ the Savior. Red Square is just out of the frame on the right.

Kremlin / Кремль

the lock/bridge trend is still a thing here

Random church right by the metro

Just like in the rest of Europe, it's totally common to be in a very modern part of town, then turn the corner to find yourself looking at a very old church.

I just like the colors on this one...

Yesterday I went to Gorky Park (Парк Горкого) with a couple of friends. They've just recently re-done the park, so it's all fancy and free now. Most of the people there were actual Russians, not tourists. You can swim in the fountain, rent rollerblades, play volleyball/basketball/ping-poing, or rent a giant cushion to lie in the sun.

They also have a space shuttle in the park.

rad statue garden thing across the street from Gorky

A few things here took getting used to, like the complete lack of air conditioning and the general shoviness of people on the metro. Regardless, I'm having a great time, and I think I will definitely enjoy my time living here.

Did I mention that the metro stations are all very pretty?

The Longest Day

Greetings from Moscow!

Yep, I am here, after one mildly pleasant plane trip and another incredibly long and uncomfortable plane trip, followed up by a nice bus ride through Moscow (most of which I slept through).

The longest day? Uh, yeah. At the time of writing this post, it's 12:06 pm on June 2nd in Waco. Meaning that I have now been awake (with a sum total of about 2 hours' napping throughout) for 31 hours. Wheeeeeee. I don't even feel tired anymore.

The only interesting part of the air travel was the flight attendant who kept speaking to me in Russian, despite my blank stares and mistaken use of "you're welcome" in place of "thank you." (Also, at least a third of the times she talked to me were to tell me to put my seat belt on. #accidentalrebel)

Once we actually landed in Moscow, went through passport control (a completely silent affair; also, note: don't take pictures of passport control), collected our bags, and got on the bus, things got more...Russian.

A few things I noticed from the part of the bus trip where I was conscious:

• It is so smoggy in Moscow. The air is colors. 
• There are actual passenger trains on the train tracks. Wowzah.
• At least near the airports, there are these huuuuge blocks of very uniform apartments. Some of them look to be nice and new, while others look...not-so-nice and not-so-new. 
  
  
  
  
  
  
• The traffic was terrible. (At least for the part I was awake for.)
• I saw lots of familiar car dealerships. Toyota, Kia, etc.
• Fun fact, in some places the sidewalks are also for parking cars. 

Anyway, at the end of this bus ride was our dorm! It is way different from American dorms, but I had a very pleasant sleep last night regardless.

The front of our dorm. The sign says "Higher School of Economics" and then below "National Research University."

This is my room. Mine is the top bunk...putting the sheets on was an adventure.

Also, the sun is up a lot. I think it set around 10 pm last night and rose again around 4:30 this morning. 

Author's note: I wrote most of this last night local time in my extremely sleep deprived state. The finishing touches and publishing are this morning local time. It's now about 8:30 am on Tuesday.